that night i woke up all of a sudden
at 5a.m, a pang of hunger hit me.
i snack my way thru' and just before
sleep, my mind came flooding with
memories of her. i felt like calling her
but what could i say? we arent even
friends anymore. there is only a thorn,
a blockage, a scar between me and her.
i thought of messaging "good luck for ur As"
at 5.30 a.m. i started feeling seriously
depressed. she was my soul mate.
the days where we spend
everyday together, chatting on e phone
abt every tv show, neoprints,photos,
every memory has a link to u. but all this
were shattered in that moment.
for once, i blame myself for knowing the
truth. i would really give anything
to get back her. sound lesbian.
but i do miss her very very much.
so i change my mind and msg yang. and told
him i miss her.

i'm still pondering what should i do...